| wow it has been awhile |
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Posted on October 22, 2007 @ 7:43 pm
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It has been so long since I've written but yet nothing has really changed.
I am still at this horrendous deadend job, no boyfriend, and still gaining a lot of weight.
I just read this book "Diary of a Sex Fiend" by Abby Lee. It is a real womans diary about all her encounters with sex. It actually made me think about my own sex life. Now I've only had sex with 2 people since Jim and the last one I only count as "kinda" having sex because I stopped halfway and asked him what he was thinking about?
But those 2 people I've had sex with I was majorly drunk both times! That means I haven't had sober sex in 3 years! What is wrong with me? Why can't I have a normal relationship with a guy without bringing alcohol into the picture?
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| The low down. in as many words as possible |
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Posted on March 11, 2007 @ 6:13 pm
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My Saturday..
Where do I begin?
Well I was stupid and my dad's been telling me I need to buy these parts for my car so he can do a tuneup, and I was putting it off forever. And on my drive in to work this morning I was thinking to myself how I was going to go buy the parts tonight. And BAM middle of the intersection car stops. I was able to turn it back on fine and get out of the intersection. Then I go to Starbucks because now I needed some soothing chai tea. I then try to start my car and it won't turn on. So I called my manager and he came and picked me up. We then later that afternoon had one of our loaners (I believe) tow it into the shop, and the guys were joking how it was funny towing a 500 dollars car with a 45000 dollar car. And I was telling them they were generous for saying it was worth 500. And then I had a tech look at it, and he pretty much came to the same conclusion we had already known for awhile. We need a tuneup. So he thought he got it into working condition to get me home. So I am driving home, and BAM in the middle of the intersection it stops and wont start again. So some good Samaritans (in a Lexus) pushed me into a parking lot. And one of our valets came and picked me up and took me home. Then my dad went and bought the parts we needed at Schucks because the ford dealership parts was already closed. But Schucks didn't have all the parts so we are still missing the plug wires. But I was able to get the Distributor cap and rotor. So I was able to get it home and now it is sitting in the driveway all sad because I wont be driving it for a couple days. And this comes 3 weeks before I buy my new car. FUCKIN A
Moving on.
Like I said I am buying a new car. A brand new Scion TC to be exact. Don't know the color for sure yet, either silver, black or white. It is going to be off the wall. With blue LED lights on the floor, and the best sound upgrade possible. I am fuckin excited. Just now have to wait for my tax return check to come in. Then I am good to go! Well not yet, I am still shopping around for insurance.
Boys boys boys.
A couple boys are tickling my fancy right now. I have just recently rekindled a friendship with a certain Cali boy I used to (kinda still do) have the hots for. Still heart my army boy even though we are only friends. Been spending time with and talking a lot to a friend from high school. I just enjoy his company a lot. But for right now there is not one guy I am interested in pursuing. I really wish there was because maybe it would make my life a whole lot easier. But we'll see what happens.
Work.
I am unhappy at Lexus, and I guess I haven't been for awhile. I have an interview on Thursday for another job. But I will not be leaving Lexus until I purchase my car. But maybe the idea of me leaving would have them pulling some tricks out of the bag to keep me around.
School
Well my winter quarter is wrapping up. And it was a hard quarter but I think I did relatively well. (We will find out how well in a few weeks). I got at least one A in my keyboarding class. I was mesmerized in my International Marketing class, the harder the class got the more I wanted to learn. My Mass Media class was not as entertaining as I wanted but I did learn quite a lot.
Next quarter starts April 2nd; I haven't decided what I am taking. I go in on Wednesday to take my Math and English placement tests, because for my transfer degree I am required certain levels of both. Next quarter, I was thinking an English class, a math class, and either Business Law or Accounting. Which are all required for my degree.
Who knows.
I miss being so regular on here. But I don't know
And PS. I leave for the Bahamas in 10 days!!!!
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| Finally... |
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Posted on February 18, 2007 @ 5:16 pm
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My friend Chelsea found her passport, so we can finally order our tickets!
I am sooooooo excited!
I've been the Bahamas once before, but only for a day because it was during a cruise!
This is going to be almost a fuckin week!
I am excited! YAY!
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| this week has been super hard |
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Posted on February 04, 2007 @ 11:16 am
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First I worked 53.1 hours this week. Secondly, friday was the 5 year anniversary of my moms death. Thirdly, Stephen is mad at me, because I am a girl and I fuck things up. Fourthly, I am falling behind in school. Fifthly, okay well there isnt a fifth, but you'd think with how shitty this week has gone that there would be.
The only good thing that has happened this week is:
So this guy I used to work with at Lexus switched dealerships. Now this guy was my FAVORITE advisor. Well he came in friday night and Chelsea told him I had a crush on him, and I'd so want to date him if he wasnt married. Which is true (but I also wish he wasnt so religious either). And he pretty much said like wise!!
And then that night ended shitty, with stephen not talking to me.
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| why? |
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Posted on January 20, 2007 @ 7:55 pm
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why can't I stop liking him?
We've only seen eachother in person once, but I can't get him out of my head.
But the stupid fucker never wants to hangout. And I know he is annoyed by me.
But even with him being an asshole to me some days, I keep going back to talking to him and asking if he wants to hangout. What is wrong with me? Why can't I get him out of my mind?
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| what about me? |
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Posted on January 18, 2007 @ 6:10 am
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So my best friend just posted a bulletin on myspace about how she posted pictures of her friends. But was Kristine in ONE of those pictures? NO
Shows how she really feels about me.
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| update |
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Posted on January 13, 2007 @ 3:54 pm
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Work: I still work for Lexus. And am only making 50 cents more then when I started. I hate it. I am so frustrated because I do so much work and this is all I get? Maybe I should be a lazy ass like everyone else. Maybe I shouldn't train all the new cashiers. Maybe I shouldn't book. Or not cover other people's shifts. And come in when no one else can. It is fuckin ridiculous. If you are having me do all this work, at least give me the "head cashier" status. I pretty much have that responsibility. I have people come to ME if they need the cashiers to do something. Why me? I am not "head cashier". Argg okay.
Guys: There are a couple guys who have been toying with my heart. Just one recently has me utterly confused and frustrated at the same time. He acts like he is not interested and at the same time sends me mixed signals. I don't know!! But the fact that he seems not interested makes me want him more! Fuckin a. what is wrong with me? And the other guy. I've liked him for a while. I can't explain it. When I see him, I just melt! He has the prettiest eyes that just make me want to orgasm then and there. But the same with him is that we talked about it and he only cares for me as a friend. It sucks! Wtf. I hate guys. I hate being confused and I hate the feeling of not being loved.
Car: Lol, so I am in the process of buying a new car. I am not 100 percent sure what I want. But the O'Brien auto group has a Scion TC in my price range. And I am already getting price quotes from an insurance guy (who I work with. shhh he doesn't want people to know he is an insurance guy on the side). I just know I need a car that wont poop out on me. A car where I can actually drive to my friend's houses without being scared for my life. Don't get me wrong. I love my car. It has gotten me through some crazy shit. But it has just gotten unreliable.
School: As most of you know, I've gone back to school fulltime, well close to fulltime. I am 2 credits shy of fulltime. This quarter I am taking Intro to Mass Media, International Marketing and Keyboarding. It is going to be an interesting quarter that is for sure. But I really need to catch up. It is weird seeing people my age getting ready to graduate when I only have a few credits behind my back. Who knows? I love school. I have a thirst for knowledge. Hehe. We'll see how this quarter goes.
Friends: I absolutely love my friends. The new and the old. I don't see the old as much as I would like. But I know they are always there for me. Aisling and I have a Thursday night television date night. Where I come over to her house, and we watch our shows and eat some good food. I wish Aisling wasn't sick so we can go out like old times sake. But I am patient. I love her for all the progress she has made so far. She is a strong girl and I love her for it. To my old; and to my new, friends: Thanks for being there for me.
Family: I wish my family life was going as well as my friends, but it isn't. I am so unhappy living in this house. Maybe that is why I work so much; because I am in constant need to be out of this house. I spend more time at work then I do at home. Who knows? I love my siblings, but the holidays are definitely a hard time for me. I miss my mom a lot. More then anyone can ever imagine. I haven't been to the cemetery in awhile, but it is just so hard. I get teary-eyed just driving by it. Can you imagine how I would be if I went in?
I wish my life were as easy as other peoples. People with both their parents still alive and healthy. People with a good job. People with significant others. I want to be happy, I really do. And I am happy. I am confused. FUCK!
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| brazilian wax |
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Posted on December 13, 2006 @ 11:03 pm
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So I went and got my first brazilian wax done. (For those who don't know what that is, it is waxing of EVERYTHING down south). I was sooooo nervous the whole drive there, but once I got in the room and talked with the girl and stuff I got very comfortable. (Well not too comfortable). It was very painful. And she said my skin was extra sensitive because I am probably going to start my period, and low and behold BAM there is my period when I was taking a shower. But yeah I recommend it to anyone who HATES shaving.
But you need alot of hair to wax, and she said I didnt have enough but she'll try anyways, so I had to pluck a few strays when I got home but it was good. She said about a month and a half of NO SHAVING! So if you have the patience then totally get a brazilian wax.
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| friends |
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Posted on November 12, 2006 @ 7:16 pm
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or lack there of. You always say "chicks before dicks". Yet I don't think my friends under stand that.
I so need a boyfriend.
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| fuck |
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Posted on November 05, 2006 @ 7:52 am
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I haven't wrote here in awhile. I am sorry guys! :(
Well my job at Lexus was going well until they hired this girl that is pure trash. And it pretty much forced my bestfriend at work Wendy to quit because she ended up with extreme hatred for this girl. And now that leaves me with her all day. I am getting used to her, but she still has some qualities that really piss me off. And I've had customers complain about her, advisors complain, etc. I talk to management and they say I am just over exaggerating.
I had an interview last week, but was unable to make it, and I think deepdown I didn't want to go because I hate letting people down. And I will really let people down if I quit Lexus right now. Argg this sucks.
And new topic: we always talk about not choosing our boyfriends over our friends, but time after time my friend is doing that. And it is so frustrating. I just want my friends back. I hate being the only single one.
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| alone |
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Posted on September 19, 2006 @ 11:31 pm
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It seems everyone I know has been able to find someone to care for and that cares for them back. It is ridiculous! Why do I have to be single? Why is it so hard for me to be in a relationship? I just want to be happy, and I guess for me happiness comes when I am in a relationship.
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| fat |
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Posted on September 18, 2006 @ 7:25 pm
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So putting on my dress from prom made me feel really fat today. I didnt realize how much I have gained. But it was about 3 sizes. And I looked at my skirts that I used to wear 2 summers ago, and DAMN wtf have I been doing to gain so much weight. It is depressing. I want to be thinner again. I need help though. I need motivation.
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| sad face |
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Posted on September 06, 2006 @ 5:02 pm
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my bestfriend has only been gone for less then a day and I already miss her. This is going to be a lonely lonely week
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| fuck |
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Posted on September 04, 2006 @ 12:00 pm
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I hate going out in public and I sometimes hate going out with my friend and her bf. It makes me not uncomfortable but jealous that they are all over eachother. I need someone I want someone. Why is life treating me so shitty? What have I done to deserve this?
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| what the fuck is up with this week? |
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Posted on August 14, 2006 @ 10:31 pm
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so apparently my dad and family is stuck at the boat launch because my dads car broke down and now the boat is stuck in the water and the car wont fuckin budge. And my family is pissed at me because I didnt bring my phone in with me while i was taking a bath. What do they expect for me to magically hear my phone from the bathroom to my bedroom? WHY IS EVERYONE PISSED AT ME? what did I do to deserve this?
first friends, then my brakes and now this?
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| fuckity fuck |
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Posted on August 14, 2006 @ 7:31 pm
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so now aisling is mad at me (or at least i think she is) because she misinterpreted a text i sent her. She thought her ex was hitting on me, but clearly he wasnt. But i've been trying to call and text this girl all weekend, and the one and only text she responds back to is that one that involves her. What the fuck?
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| this is just not my weekend |
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Posted on August 13, 2006 @ 1:26 pm
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okay you are supposed to replace your brakes when they get down to 2-3mm mine were a little lower then 2mm, and so right now we are putting some temporary brake pads on before we take it in to the shop. But it is really hard for us to spend all this money on fixing a car that is only worth 10 dollars.
And Aisling told me she'd call me today but ive not even got a call, or even a response from my TWO text messages I've sent her. I hate having flakes for friends, and I HATE feeling like I am a backup friend.
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| someone explain to me.. |
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Posted on August 11, 2006 @ 7:40 pm
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someone explain to me the purpose of a cellphone? because obviously people dont understand what they are meant for. If someone calls or sends a text message, how hard is it to send a response back? it takes like TWO seconds to send a text message back. FUCKIN A!
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| sex dreams |
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Posted on August 08, 2006 @ 7:21 am
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I just had the best sex dream last night/this morning. It involved a guy from my work, who I am soooooo physically attracted to and I don't know why. He is such a big jerk and looks like one, but argg he just gives me tingles hehe.
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| fuckity |
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Posted on August 07, 2006 @ 10:19 pm
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So 1) I don't understand why people have cellphones if they arent going to call back or respond to messages.. there is no point.
2) Why do I get so fuckin nervous doing presentations, I am such an outgoing person but I clam up during presentations... argg
good news
1 out of 2 finals done
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